Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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