someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Another day, another engagement, another cat
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
