Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
