i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
