goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
