When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
