So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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