my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
