you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
