I hate your face
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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