Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
