You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
