who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
