we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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