no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
