Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
