He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This house was built for laser tag.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
