I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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