You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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