So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
