it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
