oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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