how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
