Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
