I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
