the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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