***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
