Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
