I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
