My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
