If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
