3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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