I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
