My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
