Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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