so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize