i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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