i think my tv is drunk
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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