I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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