Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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