I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
