This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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