On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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