Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
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