i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
