He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize