I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
