it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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