i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
please don't ironically join a cult
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