Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
