they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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