she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
