your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
