I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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