it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
