so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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