So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
