Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just pee around me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
