you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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