Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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