problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
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Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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