I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
