At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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