we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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