im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
