her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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