apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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